Depressing Thoughts

When watching movies like Left Behind and other end-of-the-world movies, sometimes they spark thoughts about humanity in general. It’s not that I doubt where I’m going. No, I know where I’m going when the world ends and the rapture or the apocalypse happens.

I’m not well read on the subject, so I’m not sure what the experts say will happen, how it will happen, or when it will happen, what it will be called when it does happen or for that matter, who’s even considered an expert in such things.

I just know I’m going to heaven to meet my Creator and my Savior. That’s not an issue for me; there is no doubt, there is no fear. I’m ready.

But I wonder about the others. My loved ones, my extended family, but especially my daughters. Their choices right now don’t reflect a relationship with Christ, but did that moment ever really occur? Did they ever really totally believe, give their hearts to Jesus, and ask for forgiveness? Only He really knows, but end-of-the-world movies make me think, make me wonder, and bring my lingering concern to the forefront once again.

My sisters and brothers and their families are a whole different story since they’re not believers and have outright told me they’re not interested. That’s their choice and I have to respect that, but it saddens me that they’re blinded to the truth. Just like anyone, I guess, I’d like for all my loved ones to go to heaven when this physical existence on earth is over.

But humanity in general… we, myself included of course, are so selfish, proud, judgmental, and sinful. So many of us are on a self-destructive course and don’t even know it. In fact, many seem happy in their ignorance. At least, that’s what people like to portray on the outside.

I’m not very good at pretending to be happy. What is happy? Happy seems so temporary, so hollow, so pointless. There was a time when I honestly didn’t feel happy. Now is better, but it’s more a feeling of contentment and peace.

Obviously, depression is something I struggle with on a continual basis. And much of the time I require chemical alteration to overcome it. By that I don’t mean drinking or doing drugs, although I have been there and done that too, but since the Lord saved me from my own path of self-destruction and ultimate banishment to hell, I have not had to rely on those things. Although anti-depressants have still been necessary more often than not.

And that’s where another debate can come into play…should born-again Christians really need to take anti-depressants? Shouldn’t the presence of the Holy Spirit be enough to overcome those negative thought patterns, especially with a little coaching? Yes, maybe, but what about the chemical imbalances inside the brain? Okay, but won’t the Lord heal you if you just ask Him? Maybe, maybe not. For some reason, He chooses not to heal everyone who asks, nor does all healing necessarily happen just in the blink of an eye, or even necessarily without the aid of man’s medical discoveries.

That’s my thoughts. What are yours?


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